page 58 - communication

One suddenly realizes how much communication is a business of shared rules, a give-and-take that is conveyed less in actual words than in emotional tonalities, the expression of the eyes (keen or glazed over), gestures, one mind's leaning toward another in empathy and good faith. When communication between two people breaks down, the rupture can rarely be conveyed by the simple reporting of what was said; everything has to do with tone of voice, the presence or absence of humor, the quality of listening, of hearing and being heard in a very particular way.